Monday, July 30, 2012

Inspector Wholock

Top picture taken from http://ipadwallpaper.eu/wallpapers/2/doctor-who-and-sherlock-wp1.jpg, bottom picture taken from http://media.azpm.org/master/image/2010/9/6/spot/mystery_lewis_dk_matter617x.jpg. Image depicts the main characters of this teleplay: Sherlock Homes (top center, on the left), John Watson (directly to the right of Sherlock), the Eleventh Doctor (further to the right), Inspector Robbie Lewis (bottom left), and Sergeant James Hathaway (bottom right).
This is, in short, a crossover story (written in teleplay format) of my three favorite British TV shows: Doctor Who, Inspector Lewis, and Sherlock. It was written for a school assignment a few weeks ago. If you're not familiar with Doctor Who, you might have some more trouble following it than a fan would, but I think it's still relatively clear. Let me know if it isn't.

Time-wise, this takes place after season five but before season six of Doctor Who. Sherlock is in an alternate universe where Sherlock and John still have met and have solved crimes, but Moriarty hasn't made an appearance... yet. This can take place at any point in the Inspector Lewis timeline. Well, it has to be after the pilot.

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, Sherlock, or Inspector Lewis or any of the characters and settings mentioned within those shows.



INSPECTOR WHOLOCK
A Teleplay
BASED ON THE TV SHOWS
“SHERLOCK”
“DOCTOR WHO”
And “INSPECTOR LEWIS”


 Scene 1 (montage)
EXT.—shot of police car driving on a highway from Oxford to London. The “Inspector Lewis” music underscores the following exchanges.
LEWIS is a world-weary detective inspector for the Oxford police in his mid to late fifties. He has brown hair and a stocky build, and sports a very distinct and often sarcastic Geordie accent. HATHAWAY, his sergeant and partner, is a Cambridge-educated man in his early thirties with light blond hair and a tall, athletic build. His voice is deep and he is incredible at deadpan sarcasm when he chooses to use it. Despite their differing personalities, the two get along remarkably well.
LEWIS (V.O.)
Honestly, if the police in London can’t figure this one out, I don’t see how we’d be able to help.
INT.—of car. Close-up of HATHAWAY’s face. He has the case files open on his lap.
HATHAWAY
Still, though, you ought to be flattered that they specifically sought you out.
Close-up of LEWIS at the wheel. He raises his eyebrows.
LEWIS
They sought out the two of us. [He rolls his eyes and snorts.] Flattered…
INT.—cut to shot of the stairway coming down from the 221B Baker Streetapartment. SHERLOCK is running down the stairs excitedly, with JOHN and LESTRADE following.
SHERLOCK Holmes is a dark-haired, wiry man who makes it very clear that he would rather be brilliant and catch murderers than eat and function in social settings. His flatmate, JOHN Watson, is more normal-looking; however, his stance is very military and it is clear he at least partially views the world as a battlefield. He serves as SHERLOCK’s “interpreter” to the outside world. Inspector Greg LESTRADE is the head of the London police department. He looks and acts rather like JOHN, except with grayer hair and a more doubtful attitude towards SHERLOCK.
SHERLOCK
Have we got ourselves another serial killer? I love serial killers, there’s always something to look forward to!
JOHN and LESTRADE share a brief glance and then continue down the stairs, a little faster than before.
JOHN
Sherlock!
EXT.—right outside the door of 221B Baker Street. SHERLOCK stands on the steps, grinning. JOHN and LESTRADE come up behind him, on either side.
LESTRADE
Now, Sherlock, we’ve had to call in some people from Oxford to help with this thing. So, for God’s sake, be nice.
Close-up of SHERLOCK, turning back towards LESTRADE. He looks alarmed.
SHERLOCK
Nice? You’re effectively eliminating my position as consulting detective of the London police and you expect me to be nice?
SHERLOCK starts to walk down the street. JOHN glances at LESTRADE again. Close-up of JOHN.
JOHN
Thought you knew him better than to do that.
No response from LESTRADE.
JOHN
Be glad he’s still interested in the case. Otherwise, you’d have lost your consulting detective.
JOHN follows SHERLOCK. Close-up of LESTRADE, scowling for a moment and then following them.
EXT.—cut to the corner of a street in London where the TARDIS has just landed. Close-up of the DOCTOR as he climbs out of it, looking around.
The DOCTOR appears to be merely an eccentric but handsome man in his late twenties with a fondness for bowties and suspenders. However, he is actually a 907-year-old Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey who travels through all of time and space in his TARDIS, a pan-dimensional traveling machine that appears in the guise of a blue police box from 1963. When the DOCTOR is fatally injured, he has the ability to regenerate himself into a new body. Despite his alien status, he has quite a fondness for Earth and tries to save it from the more harmful alien races that constantly try to take it over during various time periods. The DOCTOR has a tendency to speak incredibly fast with syllabic emphasis in strange places.
DOCTOR
London, London, why have we landed in London? In the 21st century, no less? Eerie…
Shot of AMY and RORY at the door of the TARDIS. AMY clutches the doorframe with a smirk on her face while RORY, looking quite confused, stands behind her.
AMY and RORY are the DOCTOR’s companions in his time-travelling escapades. They have also just recently gotten married. AMY is a thin, redheaded, incredibly pretty young woman with a Scottish accent and a knack for getting in trouble. RORY is more average all around, with a more even temperament and less of an inclination towards action, although at one point in his horribly-warped timeline he was a Roman centurion. They’re both quite fond of the DOCTOR.
RORY
Do we ever land where we’re supposed to land?
AMY
Nope.
RORY
Okay. (Beat.) Do we ever go anywhere normal?
AMY
Not a chance. C’mon.
They step out of the TARDIS and join the DOCTOR, who is circling the TARDIS and surveying his surroundings with great interest.
INT.—of LEWIS and HATHAWAY’s car, still traveling. Close-up of HATHAWAY.
LEWIS
So tell me about what we’re dealing with again.
HATHAWAY
Twenty murders—twenty simultaneous murders, all occurring between one and two o’clock in the morning on March twenty-third.
Shot of case files on HATHAWAY’s lap.
HATHAWAY (V.O.)
10 victims male, 10 victims female, running ages ranging from 3 to 82. All found in places they shouldn’t have been with their necks snapped.
HATHAWAY flips over one of the pages, revealing a photograph of RIVER SONG.
HATHAWAY (V.O.)
Only one surviving witness, a River Song. The London people have got her in custody, but so far investigations have been fruitless, as she refuses to cooperate with the police. We can’t find out anything about her—no family, no past records, nothing.
Cut to EXT.—shot of the police car pulling into the driveway of the police station in London. Cut back to INT.—of car; close-up of HATHAWAY.
HATHAWAY
It’s like she appeared out of thin air.
Cut to INT.—a laboratory inside the police station. SHERLOCK is gazing into a microscope. JOHN is standing behind him. The door opens and LESTRADE enters.
LESTRADE
They’ve arrived.
JOHN looks up at him, while SHERLOCK just continues to stare into the microscope. LESTRADE sighs.
LESTRADE
Sherlock, my hands are tied. The administration doesn’t like you being here and they’re gonna do whatever they want, with or without your or my approval. So just… grow up and be professional for once in your life. (Beat.) This’ll be over with soon, I promise.
Cut to Ext.—a street in London. The DOCTOR is running down the street with AMY and RORY following.
AMY
Doctor? What’s happening? Where are we going?
Close-up of DOCTOR, who stops running and stares straight ahead, furrowing his eyebrows. He turns around to face AMY and RORY, who have caught up with him.
DOCTOR
We are going to the police station, to consult the police.
He turns back around and grins.
DOCTOR
There are some awfully important people with the police whom we need to appease…
Scene 2
INT.—the laboratory at the police station. SHERLOCK is still staring through the microscope and JOHN is still standing behind him. The door opens and LESTRADE enters again, this time followed by LEWIS and HATHAWAY. HATHAWAY stares at SHERLOCK.
HATHAWAY
Have we met before?
SHERLOCK responds immediately, still not looking up.
SHERLOCK
If we have, I wouldn’t remember it.
There is a brief, awkward pause during which JOHN sizes up LEWIS and HATHAWAY while LEWIS exchanges a glance with JOHN and HATHAWAY continues to stare at SHERLOCK. Finally, LESTRADE coughs and breaks the silence, stepping forward a little.
LESTRADE
Watson, this is Inspector Lewis and Sergeant Hathaway of the Oxford police; Inspector, this is John Watson and Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock’s our… well, he likes to be called our “consulting detective.”
LESTRADE glares at SHERLOCK for a few seconds before SHERLOCK finally glances up.
SHERLOCK
Hi.
LESTRADE
Now, I assume you’ve all read the case files-
The door opens again and the DOCTOR, AMY, and RORY coming rushing in. The DOCTOR is holding up what appears to be a police badge.
DOCTOR
Hi, sorry we’re late. I’m the Doctor assigned to this case; this is Amy Pond and Rory Williams. We are here to help you. Now, where were—oh, yes. Assuming you’ve all read the case files-
LESTRADE
Who are you and what are you doing here?
The DOCTOR claps his hands together.
DOCTOR
Already told you that, Inspector. I’m the Doctor; this is Amy Pond and Rory Williams.
Close-up of the DOCTOR, leaning forward.
DOCTOR
I have information that you need. You have information that I need. So if we can manage to work together, all of our needs should be met by the end of the day.
He turns to address SHERLOCK, and then stops, just staring. SHERLOCK stares at the DOCTOR, furrowing his brow slightly. The two continue to stare at each other as the “I Am the Doctor” musical theme begins to underscore the following sections.
SHERLOCK
You’re the Doctor-
DOCTOR
And you’re Sherlock Holmes.
More staring ensues. Close-up of a puzzled-looking JOHN; then of AMY and RORY, looking ready to fight if necessary; then of LEWIS and HATHAWAY exchanging a very confused glance. Finally, SHERLOCK stands up and walks out of the room without a word. JOHN stares at him and then at the DOCTOR.
JOHN
Why did he just do that? How do you know his name?
The DOCTOR furrows his brow.
DOCTOR
Somehow… I think he knew we weren’t supposed to be in the same room together. One of those wibbly-wobbly… timey-wimey… things. You know?
HATHAWAY perks up at the mention of this phrase, but everyone else just looks confused. The DOCTOR sighs and walks back to join AMY and RORY.
JOHN
Well, I’m going to go and find Sherlock, make sure he’s not killing himself. Maybe we’ll try and track down that witness…
LESTRADE nods and JOHN exits.
LEWIS
Right, then. Uh… Doctor… what do you know about the case that we don’t? Are you a… witness, or something?
The DOCTOR walks over to LEWIS and snatches the case files out of his hands, rifling through them for a minute before pulling out the photograph of RIVER SONG. He bites his lip and then begins to smile.
DOCTOR
Aha!
Scene 3
EXT.—outside of the police building. SHERLOCK is standing there, looking contemplative. JOHN walks through the door and stands beside SHERLOCK.
SHERLOCK
I need a cigarette.
JOHN
No, you don’t. Look, what was going on in there? Who was that man?
SHERLOCK
John, get me a cigarette. Now.
JOHN
I don’t have any, and even if I did, you wouldn’t be getting one. (Beat.) What’s wrong?
SHERLOCK
I…
SHERLOCK’s face twists into a grimace for a moment, and then he begins to speak. As he talks, shots of the DOCTOR and the parts of his clothing/body that SHERLOCK is referring to are zoomed in on.
SHERLOCK
Tucked into the man’s pocket was an instrument that I vaguely recognized but couldn’t find a name for. The words that appeared in my brain were “sonic screwdriver,” but that term doesn’t make any sense to me, at least not yet. His police badge at first looked like a normal police badge, but when it was in his pocket it merely appeared to be a piece of blank paper with wavy lines all over it. It made my head hurt. So did his style of clothing—the bow tie, the suspenders, the ruffles in his hair that clearly indicates he’s worn a fez recently—it doesn’t add up. Granted, he could just have no fashion sense, but the outfit was very carefully picked out—the wrinkle pattern shows that the entire ensemble was pre-arranged and hanged up on the clothing rack as one outfit. So, playing by very specific but very… otherworldly fashion rules. That in and of itself would not be much cause for concern had I not examined his pulse. Or should I say, pulses.
Cut back to SHERLOCK’s face.
SHERLOCK
Two hearts.
Close-up of JOHN, who is caught in some state of disbelief.
JOHN
Sherlock… that’s… not… are you feeling all right?
SHERLOCK
No, of course I’m not. (Beat.)
JOHN
You do realize that people with two hearts don’t exist?
SHERLOCK
Have you ever checked my pulse, John?
There is a pause. JOHN’s mouth drops open slightly and he grasps SHERLOCK’s wrist and moves his fingers around it, checking for pulses. He lets go of SHERLOCK’s wrist and runs his own hand through his hair.
JOHN
Sherlock. This… is… insane-
SHERLOCK
When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how insane it may seem, must… be…
SHERLOCK turns his head. Standing on the corner of the street is the TARDIS. SHERLOCK stares at it for a moment and then races toward it almost desperately. He tries to open the doors, but finds them locked. He begins to bang against the doors with his fists. JOHN comes up behind him and pulls him away from the TARDIS.
SHERLOCK
Why! Am! I! The! Only! One! Who! Doesn’t! Know! Anything?!
JOHN (muttering)
Believe me, you’re not the only one.
JOHN reaches into the interior pocket of his jacket and pulls out the case files, with the photo of RIVER SONG on top. He shows them to SHERLOCK, who is still struggling in his grip.
JOHN
Look! Look! See! The case! Remember the case? This is what we’re going to do. We’re going to find this witness and figure out who committed these murders and why. You’re going to be brilliant like you always are, and then we’re never going to have to deal with this mad two-hearted Doctor chap ever again! Got it?
SHERLOCK stops struggling and snatches RIVER’s photograph out of JOHN’s hands. He stares at it disbelievingly for a moment.
SHERLOCK
This, this is the witness?
JOHN
Yeah.
SHERLOCK
River Song?
JOHN
Yeah. (Beat.) Why?
SHERLOCK stares at the photograph, then at the TARDIS, and then up at the sky, looking utterly confused for once in his life.
Scene 4
INT.—back at the police station. LEWIS, HATHAWAY, LESTRADE, AMY, RORY, and the DOCTOR are crowded around a table with files spread across its surface. The DOCTOR leans forward.
DOCTOR
Now, this is going to sound incredibly strange, but I need you all to keep an open mind.
LESTRADE
Look, I’m breaking every rule letting you in here, so please try not to waste our time-
The DOCTOR holds up a hand, signaling for him to be quiet. LESTRADE rolls his eyes but listens anyway.
DOCTOR
What do any of you know about the Weeping Angels?
AMY and RORY share a worried glance and then AMY strides up to the DOCTOR.
AMY
The Angels are here?
The DOCTOR shoves the case files into her hands. AMY rifles through them.
DOCTOR
You’ve met the Angels before, tell me those aren’t the signs.
AMY
Oh my God.
LEWIS
Weeping Angels?
The DOCTOR turns to HATHAWAY, who looks as if he is on the verge of a discovery but cannot form the words to articulate what he’s found.
DOCTOR
And you, I believe, have also encountered the Weeping Angels before.
Before HATHAWAY can respond, LEWIS cuts in, incredulous.
LEWIS
Sorry—Weeping Angels? What?
HATHAWAY
The Weeping Angels are an alien race that appear as statues and can only move when they’re not being seen.
LESTRADE starts to interrupt but HATHAWAY cuts him off.
HATHAWAY
Do not ask me how I know that.
LESTRADE
Wasn’t going to.
LEWIS
Hold on—aliens? Seriously?
DOCTOR
Yes, they exist, I’m one of them, moving on.
LEWIS looks at HATHAWAY for confirmation. HATHAWAY nods slightly with a shrug. LEWIS starts to scowl and then sighs. LESTRADE crosses his arms.
LESTRADE
Wait a minute-
DOCTOR
No, I’d rather we not wait. There are dead people out there and there are going to be more if we don’t intervene now. James—do you mind if I call you James?
HATHAWAY
Yes.
DOCTOR
Fine, Hathaway. How do you know about the Weeping Angels?
HATHAWAY stiffens, deeply irritated.
HATHAWAY
I told you, I don’t know. I can’t remember.
The DOCTOR sighs and then turns to AMY and RORY.
DOCTOR
Fine. Amy, Rory, I need you both to find Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. They’re probably with River right now.
AMY
Right1 And… where is River?
DOCTOR
Somewhere in the building… No, never mind, sorry, she’s broken out now.
LESTRADE
What?
DOCTOR
Get to the TARDIS, there’s a tracking device in there. You should be able to find her relatively quickly, assuming she hasn’t vortex-warped herself away already. Which she probably hasn’t, if she’s met up with the other two.
AMY
Got it!
LESTRADE walks up to the DOCTOR, incredibly angry.
LESTRADE
You’re telling me that you knew our only witness had left the building and didn’t do anything about it?
The DOCTOR shrugs.
DOCTOR
She wasn’t giving you any valuable information, anyway. She’ll be much more of a help to the other two, when they find her.
LESTRADE scowls and tries to retort, but comes up with nothing. He sighs. RORY comes up behind LESTRADE and places a rather awkward comforting hand on his shoulder.
RORY
Uh, listen, I know this is a lot to process, but you have to trust the Doctor. He’s a good man.
LESTRADE sighs again. AMY and RORY run out of the room.
LESTRADE
Right. Okay, so-
Suddenly HATHAWAY, who has been closing his eyes trying to remember something, opens his eyes and turns to LEWIS.
HATHAWAY
1887.
LEWIS
What?
HATHAWAY
1887. We were traveling, in 1887. Me... me and the Doctor.
The DOCTOR claps his hands together, delighted, and leans forward.
DOCTOR
Knew it! Now, what happened in 1887?
Close-up of HATHAWAY as he speaks. His eyes are wide and he looks as if he’s having an epiphany.
HATHAWAY
We were traveling to 1887 to meet a man named Arthur Conan Doyle. His first short story was about to be published. I was… excited for some reason. I knew the story, though I can’t remember what it was now. But then the Doctor sensed the Weeping Angels nearby and all three of us began to investigate. There was this lot in London that was full of Angels—they were dormant, the Doctor said. They wouldn’t wake for over a thousand years. We were just about to go when a man came out and knocked out the Doctor. Arthur Conan Doyle was killed. Then everything became black and I woke up in a hospital bed and they said I’d fallen down the stairs at the college and gone into a coma for the last month. I couldn’t remember anything until now.
LEWIS
You never told me you were in a coma once.
HATHAWAY
That’s because I wasn’t.
DOCTOR
He was busy time-traveling with some future version of me. But something made him forget that… something strong, something powerful, somethingdangerous.
LEWIS (with false hope)
Friend of yours?
DOCTOR
Friend? No.
HATHAWAY
An enemy, then.
The DOCTOR nods.
LESTRADE
An arch-enemy?
DOCTOR
Don't be ridiculous, people don't have arch-enemies.
HATHAWAY
But you're not “people.” You're Time-Lord.
The DOCTOR bites his lip, as if he hadn't considered this before, even though he most certainly has.
DOCTOR
True.
AMY and RORY rush in, panting and looking frantic. AMY holds up what appears to be a battered old manuscript.
AMY
Doctor? We found this in the TARDIS.
Scene 5
EXT.—one of the streets of LONDON, in the late afternoon or early evening. SHERLOCK and JOHN are staring distrustfully at someone—RIVER SONG, as it turns out, who smirks at them.
RIVER SONG is a mysterious woman who appears to be in her mid-thirties, but often appears at various places in the DOCTOR’s timeline. As the DOCTOR moves forward in time, RIVER moves backward, making their interactions quite complicated. This is not helped by the fact that RIVER loves cryptic conversation.
RIVER
Long time no see, Doctor.
SHERLOCK
What are you talking about?
JOHN
Uh, if you’re looking for the Doctor he’s down at the police station. I can see how you’d get confused. I'm John Watson, this is Sherlock Holmes-
RIVER
Oh, is this the amnesia period? Oops. Sorry. Spoilers.
SHERLOCK looks incredibly worried.
SHERLOCK
Amnesia?
RIVER
Never mind, that’s besides the point. You wanted to question me about the murders. What I saw that night.
SHERLOCK
Are you saying I have amnesia?
RIVER just continues to smirk.
RIVER
I told you, spoilers. Now, about the murders... I have a feeling you'll be more willing to believe me than those obstinate fools over at Scotland Yard. Especially if you've met the Doctor like you say you have.
She leans forward. JOHN takes a step back, but SHERLOCK steps forward.
SHERLOCK
How many hearts do I have, River?
RIVER
Two.
There is a long pause.
SHERLOCK
You know who I really am—what I really am. I don't. So tell me. Now.(Beat.) Who am I?
RIVER
I wish I could say, but honestly, I can't. I really can't. (Beat.) But there is something I can tell you, about the murders. Those people weren't killed by human beings. I know it, the Doctor knows it, and hopefully you've figured it out by now. They were killed by Weeping Angels.
JOHN
Weeping Angels? Like, crying winged celestial beings?
RIVER
No. The Weeping Angels are an alien species that can only kill you when you're not looking at them. Remarkably fast, remarkably sadistic. They love to torment you even after you're dead, by stealing your voice.
SHERLOCK
But there's more than that.
RIVER
Of course there is.
SHERLOCK
What, then?
RIVER
One Angel would never have made it here on its own, never mind twenty or more of them. They had help. Dependable help. A man.
Scene 6 (cutting in between two locations)
Cut to INT.—police station laboratory. Everyone is in the same positions that they were at the end of Scene 4. The DOCTOR takes the manuscript out of AMY's hands and quickly scans it with a concerned expression.
RORY
It's a short story called “The Final Problem.” It says it was written by a man named Arthur Conan Doyle in 1893, but the main character's name is “Sherlock Holmes.”
HATHAWAY
How is that possible? Arthur Conan Doyle was killed in 1887. I saw him get killed in 1887.
The DOCTOR turns to AMY and RORY.
DOCTOR
Get back to the TARDIS. Find Sherlock, John, and River and bring them back here right now. Tell them everything they know, maybe it'll jog Sherlock's memory, if it hasn't been jogged already-
LEWIS
Memory? D'you mean he's got amnesia like Hathaway did?
DOCTOR
Right! Good for you!
LEWIS (muttering to himself)
Well, we mortal folk do have brains, you know.
DOCTOR
'Course you do! Amy, Rory, TARDIS, now.
AMY and RORY leave. The DOCTOR turns to face LESTRADE, LEWIS, and HATHAWAY.
DOCTOR
So! Hathaway says Arthur Conan Doyle gets killed in 1887 after publishing his first story, but in the TARDIS we find a much later story of his that details the death of a character named Sherlock Holmes. Meanwhile, a real-life consulting detective named Sherlock Holmes is running around London. Hathaway thinks he recognizes him, both he and I get a strange vibe when meeting each other and Sherlock immediately leaves the room. And Hathaway said he traveled with the Doctor for a bit of time, after which his memory got temporarily erased. So, my question is this: who benefits from all of this?
Cut to EXT.—the street in London where RIVER, SHERLOCK, and JOHN are standing. Everyone is in the same positions that they were in at the end of Scene 5.
JOHN
Did you see this man, interact with him?
RIVER
I only saw his shadow. But I already know he's powerful—he has to be, to control the Weeping Angels. He also has to be able to time-travel, to be in so many places at once. I vortex-warped myself back to every single one of the murders and he was always there to stop me from preventing them.
Cut to INT.—police laboratory. Everyone is standing in the same positions that they were in a few moments before. The DOCTOR holds up the manuscript.
DOCTOR
The Weeping Angels feed on potential energy. A paradox like this could be enough to wake an entire army worth of Weeping Angels.
HATHAWAY
An Angel army... like the one at the lot? Back in 1887?
DOCTOR
Exactly like that one.
LEWIS
It's the same one.
DOCTOR
Right! Now Hathaway, think. Try and remember. Who was the man at the lot in 1887, the man who killed Arthur Conan Doyle and knocked out the Doctor... me... the Doctor... sorry, weird to say that. Anyway, can you remember what he looked like? Did he give a name? Reveal any plans for the future?
HATHAWAY
I can't remember.
DOCTOR
Try!
Cut to EXT.—the street in London where RIVER, SHERLOCK, and JOHN are standing. Everyone is in the same positions that they were in a few moments before. Close-up of SHERLOCK, who looks as if he's concentrating very hard on something.
SHERLOCK
Why do I feel like I know the man you're describing?
For once, RIVER has no answer for him. JOHN walks up from behind him and grabs his arm lightly.
JOHN
Sherlock, I think we-
Before he can finish his sentence, a crash sounds from behind them. All three of them turn to face the direction of the sound. As they stare, the TARDIS appears behind them. Its doors fly open and AMY and RORY run out.
AMY
Don't blink!
Cut to INT.—police laboratory. Everyone is standing in the same positions that they were in a few moments before. A crash sounds from behind HATHAWAY, and he, LEWIS, and LESTRADE turn to face the direction of the noise as the DOCTOR stares at it.
LESTRADE
What is that? What do we do?
DOCTOR
Angels. Weeping Angels. Don't move, don't turn your back, don't even blink. And don't look at their eyes, either. They'll turn you into one of them if you do that.
Close-up of HATHAWAY, who is breathing heavily and looks as if he were reliving a particularly bad memory.
HATHAWAY
I think I can remember the man's name now.
DOCTOR (still staring at the Angels)
Oh? What is it?
Cut to EXT.—the street in London where RIVER, SHERLOCK, JOHN, RORY, and AMY are standing. Everyone is in the same positions that they were in a few moments before. RIVER, still training her eyes on what we assume is a Weeping Angel, pulls a laser gun out of her pocket and points it in the direction of the noise.
RIVER
Get back! Now!
To everyone except RIVER's surprise, a relatively high-pitched man's VOICE responds from offscreen. The VOICE is prone to dramatic pronunciations, sing-song taunting, and slightly maniacal laughter.
VOICE (v.o.)
Ah, River Song. The woman who grafittied the oldest cliff in the universe and made a Dalek beg for mercy.
Shot of a shadowy corner of the alleyway. We can see the distinct outlines of two large angel-shaped statues and, behind that, the dim silhouette of a man.
VOICE (v.o.)
The woman who ripped apart the fabric of time to save her beloved Doctor.
Close-up of RIVER looking confused but trying to hide it.
RIVER
What?
The VOICE laughs.
VOICE (v.o.)
Oh, has that not happened yet? Sorry. You can hardly expect me to keep track; time's sooo unpredictable!
Close-up of SHERLOCK.
VOICE (v.o.)
Oh, Sherlock, dear! We meet again! I was so hoping we would. I just love to make your life a living hell.
SHERLOCK
I remember you!
Shot of the shadowy corner with the silhouettes.
VOICE (v.o.)
Oh, good. I was wondering when you'd start to pick up memories. Your companion's practically got it all figured out by now. Of course, he's got the help of the Eleventh Doctor, plus the little clue I hid in the TARDIS.(He laughs.) My Angels so loved that paradox, it was their Christmas feast.
Close-up of the shadow silhouette, with just enough light to reveal the shape of the man's face and his lips moving.
VOICE
On the other hand, now they have a Time Lord at their disposal. Maybe even two or three. Plus a TARDIS. Oh, this'll be heaven for them! (He laughs.)Get it? Heaven, Angels? Oh, never mind. You never shared my sense of humor.
Cut to INT.—police laboratory. Everyone is standing in the same positions that they were in a few moments before. Close-up of the DOCTOR, whose gaze is furious and intense as he asks the next question.
DOCTOR
What was the man's name, Hathaway?
Close-up of HATHAWAY. He looks incredibly weary and is on the verge of closing his eyes.
HATHAWAY
Moriarty. James Moriarty.
The DOCTOR's gaze does not wander from the Angels in the corner, but his hand runs over the manuscript of “The Final Problem,” which is lying on the table.
DOCTOR
The sworn enemy of Sherlock Holmes.
Close-up of LEWIS.
LEWIS
Doctor. What do we do?
Close-up of the DOCTOR, beginning to grin.
DOCTOR
We back away very, very slowly. And then we run to the TARDIS.
LESTRADE
But Amy and Rory have the TARDIS.
DOCTOR
Yeah, but they don't have the TARDIS of tomorrow.
HATHAWAY
What?
DOCTOR
Trust me. Time works in mysterious ways. And right now, we don't have another option.
Slowly, still looking at the Angels, the DOCTOR, LESTRADE, LEWIS, and HATHAWAY back away until they reach the door.
DOCTOR
On the count of three! One... two... three...
They turn around and push open the door.
Immediate cut to EXT.—the street in London where RIVER, SHERLOCK, JOHN, RORY, and AMY are standing. Everyone is in the same positions that they were in a few moments before. Close-up of SHERLOCK, who looks uncharacteristically worried.
VOICE (v.o.)
You want to know who you are, Sherlock? I can answer that, but it's a dangerous question. As soon as you realize who you are, all your enemies will too. Really, I was doing you a favor back in 1887.
Close-up of the shadow silhouette, with just enough light to reveal the shape of the man's face and his lips moving.
VOICE
If you just let this one thing go, then you'll be exempt from severallifetimes worth of trouble. Believe me, your continued existence is well worth the wait.
Close-up of SHERLOCK. For a moment, he just looks panicked. Then his eyes light up as his memories begin to return to him. He smirks and takes a step forward.
SHERLOCK
You know me, Moriarty. I could never keep myself out of trouble.
Shot of the shadow silhouette, who is now known to be MORIARTY. A few more of his facial features have been thrust into the light. He laughs.
MORIARTY
Oh, Doctor. Is this really how you choose to end this?
He thrusts his arm forward, pointing a laser gun much like RIVER's at JOHN's forehead.
SHERLOCK
Well, you know what my response will be.
He snaps his fingers and a second TARDIS comes flying down from the sky, parking itself a few feet away from the first TARDIS. The doors open and we can see a shot of the DOCTOR at the controls, ready to push down a lever at SHERLOCK's signal.
Shot of MORIARITY, still partially in shadow, curling his lips up into a cruel smirk.
Shot of SHERLOCK staring straight ahead at MORIARITY. HATHAWAY steps beside him, in between SHERLOCK and JOHN, and smiles as if he finally knows where he belongs.
Shot of AMY and RORY grabbing each other's hands.
Shot of the DOCTOR ready to push the lever.
The “I Am the Doctor” musical theme has been playing really loudly under all of these shots.
CUT TO BLACK. We hear the sound of the TARDIS whirring, and then complete silence, echoing the end of the Sherlock episode “The Great Game” and of the Doctor Who episode “The Pandorica Opens.”
Roll credits.



1 comment:

  1. only just stumbled across this - how delightful. I do hope you're still writing!

    ReplyDelete